Horror, Scandal, Curiosity, Acceptance: The St. Louis bagel slice changes everything

Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced. It was a hit! pic.twitter.com/XNGbljtpYz

— Alek Krautmann (@AlekKrautmann) March 26, 2019

Alek Krautmann changed America when he introduced Twitter to a “St. Louis secret.” This clandestine act was to order what looks like a dozen bagels for the office and instead of slicing the bagel horizontally through the center like a sane person, he instructed Panera to cut the bagels from the top down, to the width of a slice of bread.

MY EYES.

I’ve never seen this—has anyone ever witnessed this atrocity?—and I’m a girl from New Jersey, from a Jewish family, who has probably eaten more bagels than anything else in life.

I quickly sent this tweet to my bagel posse.

“As a native New Yorker, I am vehemently opposed and deeply offended,” texted food writer Nevin Martell, while on vacation in Mexico.

“Upsetting. I would not promote it as a better way to eat a bagel,” is how Narratively‘s Brendan Spiegel, a lifelong New Yorker and a travel writer, responded.

Friends continued to transmit disapproval: “I’m obviously very offended … as a former STL resident, a Jew and a human with a brain/appetite.” … “Blasphemy.” … “This feels wrong. So wrong.”

But then, blessings appeared: “I think it’s cool,” wrote my flesh-and-blood brother. I’m now realizing maybe I never really knew him. “Why not?”

His Irish-Italian, New Jersey-raised wife wrote: “I love it.” Then qualifies her answer: “I would like it for a meeting. Not an individual serving.” She’s re-invited to Passover seder.

My friend who owns a bar in DC: “OMG that’s amazing!!!! I can put soooooo [the use of six “o”s are her doing] much more everything-bagel spice on them!”

Since this bagel news broke on the internet, and I’ve indulged in the the requisite think piece, the shock has worn off. My main argument is, if you want slices, buy a loaf of bread. Why humiliate a bagel and ruin its unique shape and texture when there are so many other bread options baked for this particular sliced function?

I wish I never knew about it. Now I have to try it.

News, events, etc.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

This week has been filled with so many emotions. I understand talking about things that make people uncomfortable isn’t the easiest thing to do. But it’s necessary for change and I’m proud to do it. I’m also so excited to announce that I have been nominated as a finalist for RISING STAR CHEF OF THE YEAR @beardfoundation !!!! It has been a lifelong dream of mine to hear my name being called out on that stage at the James Beard Awards. I’m honored, a boy from the Bronx. Who would have ever thought. Thank you all for the continued support and especially to my team. This ones for you! @kithandkindc @phillywingfry

A post shared by Kwame Onwuachi (@bastedmind) on Mar 27, 2019 at 10:34am PDT

Virginia is shut out of the James Beard Award finalists, but DC restaurant nods include: Jose Andres for Jaleo, Amy Brandwein for Centrolina, Tom Cunanan for Bad Saint, Pichet Ong for Brothers & Sisters, and Kwame Onwuachi for Kith and Kin. [James Beard Foundation]

“We do have to live within the reality of our society that we do consume meat and meat products.” After protests, Saba Halal Live Poultry will open in Alexandria. [WTOP]

Rich Rosendale, of Roots 657 in Lucketts, is starting RC Culinary Lab for cooking classes, events and fast-tracking local products to market. [Loudoun Times-Mirror]

DC’s Kwame Onwuachi, 29 and a James Beard Rising Star Chef finalist, releases excerpts from his memoir—Notes From a Young Black Chef—and he’s naming names. [Eater]

Restaurant critic Tom Sietsema tells chefs: cut down portions. [The Washington Post]

Looking for all the noms? Subscribe to our weekly food newsletter.