By Carten Cordell
Sunday night saw the conclusion of another year of bloodletting and fictional heartbreak with the season finale of HBO’s “Game of Thrones.“
If you haven’t watched it, read no further, i.e. spoilers.
As with every season, each week leads to the possibility of another favorite character meeting their end, so while audiences may have steeled themselves for heartache last night, there was no way to predict how much there would be.
Six main characters went on to their great reward last night, including, it appears, Jon Snow.
The first stage of grief, denial, has struck hard on the Internet today, as no one seems ready to let the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch go.
Slate has gone as far as to create an cemetery to honor every fallen character since the series’ inception.
And while donning black (sorry, Jon Snow fans, too soon?) for TV characters may seem silly, a 2014 report from American University found that the death of a favorite TV character almost equates to the death of a friend, psychologically speaking.
So with the oft-used Hollywood “In Memoriam” reel in mind, we wanted to pick the best tribute songs for all of the characters who got whacked in last night’s finale. Please accept our condolences.
Selyse Baratheon
It’s hard to feel much sympathy for Selyse after last week’s episode, especially since her fate was very much of her own making. For a bad queen and a worse mother, we select Guns N’ Roses’ “November Rain.”
Stannis Baratheon
There’s even less sympathy for ol’ Stannis, whose ambition outweighed every consideration right down to his family. Still, with the look of resignation that overtook his face when he realized he was defeated, heartstrings couldn’t help but be pulled. For the would-be king, the ever-apropos Paul Anka’s “My Way”.
Myranda
Sure, she was a heartless, cold-blooded killer, but Ramsey Bolton’s side-squeeze sure had some pluck. Still, it’s pretty insulting to get offed the one time Reek decides to take some initiative. Not really a sad song, but the Pussycat Dolls’ “Don’t Cha” is the only thing that seemed fitting.
Meryn Trant
Come to think of it, it’s tough to feel sympathy for any of these characters, least of all this guy. Paula Abdul’s “Cold-Hearted Snake,” and good on you, Ayra.
Myrcella Baratheon
You certainly can’t pick your parents, but it’s especially creepy to find out your uncle is your father and to be excited about it. But just as possibly the weirdest Hallmark moment is about to unfold, Myrcella keels over, an innocent victim of political gotcha points. Beware of Dornish bearing smooches. Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind.”
Jon Snow
It seems every time George R.R. Martin gives us a hero, he takes them right away again. So true it was with Jon Snow, felled ironically as a “traitor” by mutinous Night’s Watch members. At the rate fans are denying the death online, it might seem appropriate to pick a track by Elvis or Tupac, but we instead went with Bone Thugs-n-Harmony’s “Crossroads”.
