By Dr. Mariam Said, MD, MBA, FAAP, neonatologist based in Northern Virginia
The connection between a mother and her baby begins long before birth, with the mother-infant dyad in utero one of the most studied relationships in medicine. But that bond doesn’t end at delivery. In fact, the relationship between an infant and their primary caregiver during the first three years of life is just as critical to a child’s long-term health and development.
These early years represent a unique window of opportunity, where simple everyday interactions – from reading aloud to simply holding a baby close – play a powerful role in bonding, brain development, and even immune system support. These small, loving moments caregivers share with their children aren’t just comforting – they’re foundational.
Building Healthy Habits from the Very Beginning
For new parents, understanding the importance of early childhood, particularly the period from infancy through early adolescence, can feel daunting. But from a neonatologist’s perspective, there are a few key actions families can take early on that make a meaningful difference.
One well-established approach is feeding babies breast milk when possible. Breast milk provides optimal nutrition tailored to an infant’s needs and contains maternal antibodies that help protect against infection. Research has also shown long-term benefits for brain development, with many studies noting an increase in both gray and white matter volume in children who received breast milk. In simple terms, gray matter helps with thinking, learning, and memory, while white matter supports communication between different parts of the brain. Together, they play an important role in how children process information, regulate emotions, and develop language.
For mothers who are unable to provide breastmilk, it’s important to know there are other supportive options. Donor breast milk may be available in certain settings, and just as importantly, practices like frequent skin‑to‑skin contact can offer many of the same regulatory and bonding benefits.
Connecting Through Skin-to-Skin Contact
The first hour after birth is often referred to as the “golden hour,” when infants benefit from at least one uninterrupted hour of skin-to-skin contact if possible. This helps to regulate a baby’s body temperature, heart rate, and breathing while promoting early bonding. This hour is also correlated with relieving stress and anxiety after delivery for both the mother and baby.
But the benefits of skin-to-skin contact don’t stop after that first hour, or even after the first few days. Continuing this contact throughout infancy can support calmer behavior and better sleep and reinforce a baby’s sense of safety and security.
This isn’t just for biological mothers. Fathers, partners, grandparents, or other caregivers can all provide this nurturing skin-to-skin experience.
Reassurance for Parents Facing Early Challenges
It’s important to remember that the maternal‑fetal bond established during pregnancy does not disappear after birth, even if the early days don’t go as planned. Families who face barriers – such as maternal illness, unexpected medical complications, or a NICU stay – should not feel discouraged by a “rocky” start.
Babies are remarkably resilient. What matters most is not perfection, but consistency and care over time.
One of the most accessible and impactful ways to nurture development is through language and interaction. Reading, singing, and talking to babies from the very beginning supports early language development and strengthens emotional bonds.
In a world where screens are increasingly prevalent, parents are also encouraged to prioritize real, human interaction whenever possible. This might look like talking face‑to‑face, playing on the floor, interacting with siblings or pets or simply holding a baby close. These shared experiences help children develop social skills and emotional awareness in ways screens cannot replace.
Partnering with Your Care Team
Whether a family is navigating a NICU stay or attending routine well‑child visits, clear communication with care teams is essential. Parents and caregivers should feel empowered to ask questions, share observations, and express concerns.
Families are not just visitors in a medical setting. Rather, they are an important part of the care team. When parents are engaged and informed, it can lead to better coordination, greater confidence, and improved outcomes for children.
Even for babies who spend time in the NICU, there is never a point at which parents cannot contribute to their child’s well‑being. Holding, talking, singing, and providing comfort all matter. The bond between parent and child is enduring, and it continues to grow through everyday acts of love and attention.
Want to hear more from Children’s National experts? On The Lead in Peds podcast and Rise and Shine blog, pediatric leaders share the stories, science and practical tips shaping children’s health, from major breakthroughs to everyday care.
Feature image, stock.adobe.com
