If you’ve ever considered hiring a nanny or au pair to care for your children, you may have found yourself wondering if one is just another name for the other.
While nannies and au pairs both provide the personalized, one-on-one care many parents and guardians look for, the two are very different — and one may be a better fit for your family than the other.
The simplest way to think about it is this: A nanny is an employee, while an au pair is an international visitor who lives with a family as part of a cultural program.
“The main objective behind an au pair stay, in addition to child care, is a mutual cultural exchange between au pair and host family, which benefits both parties,” says Dafne Elhassan, a Northern Virginia-based child care consultant with Cultural Care Au Pair, an agency that matches families with au pairs. This mutually beneficial “cultural exchange” can mean experiencing each other’s languages, customs, food, holidays, and more.
By comparison, a nanny is usually a U.S. resident employed by a family. While there may be a cultural exchange, that’s not typically the reason families hire a nanny.
The other major differences are age, working hours, and time with a family. The au pair program in the U.S. is regulated by the state department, which sets an age restriction for au pairs — between 18 and 26 years old — and limits working hours to 10 hours a day or 45 hours a week. An au pair lives with the host family 12 months, with the option for a one-time extension of six, nine, or 12 months. Nannies, however, can be any age, negotiate their working hours, and can stay with the same family for years.
What Are the Costs?
Since a nanny is an employee of a family, salary can be negotiated. According to White House Nannies, professional nannies in the DC area charge between $25 to $35 per hour, which equates to a salary of $52,000 to $72,800 annually. Nannies also negotiate paid vacation time.
To be matched with an au pair, a family must hire an agency to find and screen candidates. The agency charges a program fee to cover its services — like securing the au pair’s J-1 visa and international airfare — and continues support and check-ins throughout the au pair’s stay. The program fee for Cultural Care Au Pair, for example, is $10,595.
Au pairs receive a minimum weekly stipend, currently $195.75 per week, and, since au pairs are required to live with their hosts, families must provide room and board along with meals. The state department also mandates families provide up to $500 toward the cost of an au pair’s required academic coursework during the stay. Additional — and sometimes unexpected — costs for hosts may include travel for family vacations, a dedicated car and car insurance, and a domestic cell phone plan.
Elhassan says some families choose to provide an additional allowance for expenses like entertainment, clothing, and personal items, although it’s not a requirement.
Interview Tips
Melissa Urbansky, a mom of three who lives in Alexandria, has hired three au pairs over the years. When she and her husband interview candidates, they look for someone with a personality that will fit well with their family.
“Transparency in what you’re looking for and the expectations you have are key to a good fit,” says Urbansky. “Be yourself. Let the au pair you’re interviewing see your kids, as they are. It is only fair to both of you that they see what your family is actually like.”
The Urbanskys ask about hobbies, so they can be matched with an au pair who can enjoy amusement parks and hiking with her thrill-seeking, outdoor-loving kids. They also ask about dietary restrictions.
When interviewing nannies or au pairs, families should decide what their personal “red flags” are that disqualify a candidate.
“When our family initially looks at au pair profiles, we look at their photos and watch their videos from their profile to see if we feel an initial connection. Oftentimes, you can get a sense for au pairs who like to party, au pairs who are quiet, and au pairs that are really connected to their families,” she says. “We also look at their driving experience. Some au pairs may show they’ve had their driver’s license for years, but it doesn’t mean they drive often. That is probably the hardest to confirm through interviews.”
Feature image by Svitlana/stock.adobe.com
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