On a sunny spring afternoon in late April, a group of about 30 parents and their soon-to-be-kindergartners crowded into the cafeteria at Clermont Elementary School in Alexandria. It was Kindergarten Orientation Day and teachers herded the lively, bouncy bunch of 4- and 5-year-olds into the back of the room to begin a school tour while their parents stayed in the cafeteria for the orientation program. Some children ran to the front of the group, others skipped hand-in-hand with friends, while a few quiet kids trailed shyly behind. But at least two or three wouldn’t budge at all. They stood firmly rooted in place, crying for their mommies or daddies, refusing to go anywhere with the unfamiliar grown-ups and children.
Eventually, with some parental soothing and persuading, they joined the tour—and thus conquered a critical step in kindergarten readiness: learning to separate from parents or caregivers.
“Ideally, learning to separate happens in daycare or in preschool,” says Clermont kindergarten teacher Michele Herchert, but it takes some kids longer than others, especially in new settings. Practicing before kindergarten can help. Take them to a drop-off playdate, a day camp or a Sunday school class and practice saying quick goodbyes. (Hint: It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid. The faster you do it, the less painful it will be.)
The start of kindergarten is a major milestone.
It’s exciting, emotional and also a source of much anxiety—and your kids might feel a little nervous too. But there are a lot of steps parents and caregivers can take to ease the transition and make the start of kindergarten a fun, successful highlight of childhood.
The best way to prepare? Send your child to preschool for at least a year before kindergarten. Preschool can be expensive in Northern Virginia, but some programs are more affordable than others, and there are also opportunities for low-income students through Head Start and the Virginia Preschool Initiative.
The lessons learned in preschool will give your child a solid foundation for the kindergarten classroom, but whether they’re in a preschool or a home daycare or even at home with you, there are essential skills you can learn to get your child ready for kindergarten.
Play Well With Others
Socialization skills are probably the most important, says Herchert. Students should know how to share and take turns. They might not like it or be particularly good at it yet, but they should still know how to do it.
They should know how to sit quietly “criss-cross applesauce” for circle time and be able to sit long enough to listen to a story. “Their stamina for listening for extended periods increases as the year goes on,” says Herchert.
They should be able to walk in a line and follow instructions, like “Get your coat out of your cubby, put it on and line up for recess.”
By kindergarten, they should also know that hitting and kicking are not allowed. Young children need to learn to use their words rather than hands to resolve conflicts, and Herchert says it’s helpful to talk to your kids about “bubbles—how we keep our hands and feet to ourselves, stay in our own bubble and out of our friends’ bubbles.”
She also recommends working on manners with kids. Not just saying please and thank you, but teaching them that it’s good manners to wait their turn to speak and to not interrupt others when they are talking. Practice by asking them to wait for mommy or daddy to finish their conversation or to get off the phone. When they start kindergarten, they’ll know not to interrupt their teacher when they are talking or helping another student.
All of these lessons can be learned through family interactions, playdates, visits to the library and park, community activities for children, birthday parties or anywhere kids come together to play. The main thing is to let your child interact with other kids as much as possible before the first day of school, Herchert says.
ABC’s and 1, 2, 3s
Play is the work of kindergarteners, but there is a lot of learning that happens through play, and there are some basic academic skills that are introduced.
“By the end of the year they all catch up, but it’s so much easier if they have a leg up ahead of time,” says Herchert. “Kindergarten is different today than when we were kids. It’s still mostly play, but now it’s almost like a watered down first grade.”
To make sure they start off on a good footing, kids should know most if not all the letters of the alphabet, tell the difference between upper and lowercase letters and be able to spell—and ideally write—their own name, which means also knowing how to hold a pencil.
Students should count to at least 20, but the higher they can count, the better. You can help by counting with your kids at every opportunity. Count steps, forks and knives on the table, shells at the beach, or toys as you put them away.
Another math skill they should have is an understanding of shapes. Even if they can’t draw them, they should be able to identify most basic shapes. Point out objects with different shapes around the house, ones found in books or toys, or that you see on a walk. Shapes and colors are everywhere in the world. It can be fun and educational to find them together.
“Patterning is also a skill kids can practice to get ready for school,” says Janet Turk, a kindergarten teacher at Congressional School in Falls Church, and it can be done almost anywhere, like during a trip to the grocery store. Find three yellow fruits and put them in order of smallest to biggest. Asking them to get two oranges, three apples and one bunch of bananas lets them practice following multistep directions.
“We forget how easy it can be to teach kids basic skills,” she says. “Kids don’t know that they are learning, because it’s fun, which is how it should be.”
Reading and Literacy Skills
Some kids will start kindergarten already knowing how to read, but there’s no need to worry if your child isn’t ready to read—most kids won’t be reading and kindergarten teachers don’t expect them to be, even by the end of the year.
“Just because Sally is reading and your child isn’t doesn’t mean that she’s got a learning disability or less intelligence,” says Turk. “That’s a lot of pressure to put on a young child.”
Always focus on how they are trying and how proud you are of them now. Don’t have unrealistic expectations and don’t try to force something that hasn’t clicked. It’s a surefire way to turn them off of reading if they feel it’s something they’re not good at when it’s simply that they’re not ready.
“We want parents to read to their children and get them excited about books rather than trying to teach them how to read,” says Turk.
However, there are elements to reading and literacy that can be precursors to reading and can be fun for your child to discover with you, like how to identify the main character, the main idea of the story and the setting where the story takes place.
Expose your kids to a variety of books and read to them as much as possible. Also, talk about the stories you’re reading and ask lots of questions. Bedtime stories can become great lessons for children.
Where do the cows and horses live? Where is the bunny going? What do you think will happen next? Why did the little boy hide behind the tree? What was the problem the duck family had to solve?
Listening quietly to a story is important, but so is comprehension. Ask your child to think about the story and make connections, not just within the story but to their own lives and experiences.
Reading stories is also an opportunity to help your child learn the sounds different letters make. Lots of children’s books use words that start with the same letter over and over again—the bumble bee buzzes—point it out, ask your child to say the letter and practice making the sound.
Children’s books can also teach your child about rhyming—check out rhyming books at the library and ask your child to identify the rhyming words and if they can think of other words that would rhyme with the words in the story. Provide them with examples: “Care rhymes with bear. What else rhymes with bear?”
Get the Lay of the Land
Bring your child to the new school where they’ll attend kindergarten at least once. First, you can drive past it a few times so they can see where it is, what it looks like and how close it is to home. As the new school year approaches, ask for a tour, visit the classrooms, look at the playground, find out where drop off and pick up happens, meet the teachers and let your child ask lots of questions.
“The more they know about what to expect, the less anxious they’ll be,” says Clermont’s Herchert. “The less scary it is for them, the less anxious you’ll be too.”
While you’re there, ask the librarian for some recommendations on books about getting ready for kindergarten, like Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes, The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn, and Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten by Joseph Slate.
There are books for grownups, too, like Jessica Lahey’s book The Gift of Failure, which educators say is a must-read for parents who are concerned about their child’s academic performance, even at young ages.
Also, make use of online resources. Districts post their curriculum for all grade levels, including kindergarten, and Fairfax County has a 12-minute video about its kindergarten program.
The Virginia Department of Education’s Early Childhood Education office also offers a host of resources on school readiness on their website.
Stress Less
You’ve read, counted and picked out patterns with your child. You’ve toured schools, checked out online resources and scheduled weekend playdates and children’s activities with lots of interaction and opportunities to socialize. Then the big day finally arrives—the start of kindergarten. When it does, remember the last and most important piece of advice from Clermont’s Herchert: “Don’t worry.”
“They are like kittens when they arrive, but they will leave with the skills needed for first grade,” she says. “It’s totally normal for parent and child to have emotions and fear. Have faith in your child, trust in the process and always partner with the teachers. When we work together, it’s less stressful for everyone, and we can ensure a successful start to your child’s education adventure.”