So much for motivation. So much for running. So much for eating less sugar. These past few weeks have been utterly putrid as far as being a health junkie goes. After Thanksgiving, I was so determined to not give in to the excuse of it’s the holidays, everyone eats bad and gains weight.
I was running daily. I was cooking up sweet potatoes and egg-white omelettes.
But then peanut butter kiss cookies happened. Then they happened again. Then Buckeye balls. Then cake and more cookies, and every variety of holiday goodness that showed up in my home was consumed with vigor.
Afterwards I berated myself. Why, why, why, couldn’t I just enjoy a little and then get past it?
But I knew why: I was in a full-blown sugar frenzy again. My body was addicted to the stuff and if I said no, I later panicked and had to have a fix. I would whip something up or simply wait for more to appear, and it surely did.
Now I haven’t been weighing myself during this frenzy in part because I was scared and in part because I was trying to wean myself off of the addiction that is daily weight checks. Finally, I caved and weighed myself. The scale showed that I hadn’t gone up so much as a pound. In fact, it seemed I was down a little. I was immediately convinced the scale was faulty, though I did breathe a small sigh of relief.
I thought seeing a harsh reflection of the ways in which I have been a poor health guru would prompt me to get my act together, but seeing that I hadn’t done much damage at all was just as effective, surprisingly. I didn’t feel that I had gotten away with eating poorly and barely exercising. I felt shocked and gratified and like I ought to lock it up before the scale really did reflect the holiday sugar frenzy I had been enjoying.
I wish I could say I promptly ran to the gym or even ran, period. That I went home and ate white fish and asparagus. No. None of that, but I did feel more conscientious. I did start with acknowledging that a lot of my little health habits I practice daily aren’t worth overlooking as maybe they have been helping me. Like the fact that I still consume a great deal of water. Also my portion control is really pretty great. I don’t eat to the point of bursting; I simply eat until I am full. Furthermore I have been finding myself downright sick of sugar. My body has been rejecting it by getting numerous headaches (which I can now diagnose as purely sugar induced), but when I sampled a blackberry the other day I all but fainted over its natural sweet goodness and bought two packages.
So perhaps it’s a slow-go back to a much more sugar-free lifestyle, but I am comforted by the fact that the holidays will soon be drawing to a close. And while I have found it supremely difficult to resist the sugar siren, at least all my good health habits haven’t fallen completely by the wayside.