Take a glass. Fill it with your favorite milkshake flavor. Then, as if you were a 4-year-old at a sundae buffet and were told you could put anything on top, begin to pile on. This is a freakshake, a krazy shake, a monster milkshake. Whatever it’s called, it is a monstrosity of cold, creamy, sugary, caloric delight primed for pics, posting and lots of likes. Sure, you’ll regret the decision to indulge knowing you will definitely be back for more.
WHERE TO FIND FREAKSHAKES
Triple Craft
Start with chocolate, vanilla or strawberry. Coordinating pairings top these shakes, like brownies on the chocolate, pound cake for the strawberry and a cheesecake brownie for vanilla. Then dive through Pocky sticks, sprinkles, drizzles, whipped cream and, of course, a cherry on top. You can also make it an adult shake (see page 56 for more boozy treats). // 1 Marina Drive, Alexandria; triplecraftdc.com
Sugar Factory
Eight options all start with scoops of ice cream in a chocolate-covered mug with confections adhering to the side (depending on which concoction you order expect nuts, sprinkles, pretzels, candy bits, crushed graham crackers, popcorn and candy bar pieces). Topping off the shakes from this New York import are a range of swirled lollipops, cotton candy, mini burgers—yes, meat and all—waffles, cheesecake and more. // 1100 S. Hayes St., Arlington; sugarfactory.com
Kiln & Co’s Kustard & Co
Don’t let the size fool you. The Krazy Shake—a chocolate- and sprinkle-coated Mason jar mug filled with red velvet, brownie or Nutella cake mixed into vanilla ice cream, topped with whipped cream, chocolate syrup and a cupcake or brownie—is handed to you and you think: “This is doable.” Then about two-thirds of the way through, you think about quitting. But you need to finish it. Every. Last. Drop. // Reston, Vienna, and soon, Falls Church; kilnandco.com
