It’s no secret that being a caregiver – whether for employment or tending to the needs of a loved one – can be stressful, especially during the holiday season. Despite our best efforts, sometimes those feelings of stress and anxiety can reach a fever pitch.
This season, in particular, evokes a laundry list of expectations that sometimes won’t match reality for caregivers and their patients. Protecting your mental health is essential to navigating the holidays. NoVA experts have advice to equip you with strategies for mitigating caregiver stress, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care.
Manage Expectations
The expectation of an idyllic, Hallmark-movie Christmas can weigh heavy on caregivers this time of year. Not only are they working around the clock to make the season comfortable and calm for their patients or loved ones, but there’s the pressure of “keeping up with the Joneses,” says the Rev. Ruth Anne Sawyer, head of chaplaincy services, decedent affairs, and ethics consultant at Sentara Northern Virginia Medical Center.
“It’s important to manage those expectations and ponder what the holidays really mean to you,” says Sawyer. “Remember, the holidays may not be what they were before, and they may not align with everyone’s idea of what a holiday looks like.”
Be mindful not to overcommit to events, and keep in mind that it’s OK to say ‘no.’ Managing expectations boils down to “focusing on activities that are fun for you and setting those healthy boundaries,” says Sawyer.
“Listen to your body, listen to yourself, slow down, and be mindful of you,” she says.
Lean In, Don’t Check Out
Caregiving is an emotionally and physically taxing job that can often leave caregivers feeling lonely.
“For most caregivers, the urge to isolate usually overpowers their need for interactions with others,” says Alicia Jones, supportive services supervisor with the Prince William County Area Agency on Aging.
There are pervasive feelings of guilt associated with self-care, primarily when caregivers lack support networks to care for their loved ones. Fighting that urge to self-isolate by reaching out to a friend or trusted family member can instill confidence while building “a strong network of reliable substitute caregivers,” says Jones.
Sometimes, the answer is “finding activities that include the loved one as much as possible,” says Jones, while other times, it’s asking for help so the caregiver can take the night off. While it’s imperative for caregivers not to overbook themselves, isolating isn’t the solution.
Find Support
Oftentimes, caregiving can feel like a thankless job, especially if the patient or loved one is no longer in a position to offer gratitude. That’s why finding a support network is vital to managing holiday stress.
“Most caregiving happens after a traumatic event, and it isn’t planned,” says Jones.
After an injury or unexpected health event, it can be exceedingly tricky for caregivers and their loved ones to adjust to the ‘new normal.’
“Having a group of individuals who understand what you have gone through is monumental,” says Jones.
It’s all the more important to find support if the holidays are a triggering season due to the loss of a family member. “Talk to someone, whether that’s your primary care physician, a therapist or counselor, or even a close friend,” says Sawyer.
Above all, caregivers should remember that “you don’t have to go through this by yourself,” says Sawyer. “You’re not alone.”
Feature image, stock.adobe.com
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