As the holidays and family time approach on the heels of the recent election, anxiety about charged political discussions can cause undue stress. Dianne Andruzzi, a licensed clinical social worker with Triangle Counseling Services, based in Ashburn, offers some advice on how to get through family gatherings in the current political climate and possibly even enjoy them.
Set the Tone
“Think ahead and set the tone. Mentally prepare yourself to take the high road,” says Andruzzi. “Share how much you are looking forward to spending time together, and how wonderful it would to be avoid disturbing the peace with talk of politics. My favorite strategy for communicating difficult things is to combine sincerity with humor. Maybe something like ‘I’ve been so preoccupied by the discord in the news, it is such a relief to be coming home where I feel safe enough with everyone to request that we don’t talk about politics at all. Thanks in advance everyone!'”
Redirect
Andruzzi recommends formulating an easy phrase that you can use to redirect the conversation if hot topics come up. “Once again, humor wins the day. Maybe something like ‘Oops! I know it is tempting, but I just can’t talk about politics right now. I love you. How about some sweet potatoes?’ Warm redirection can help keep things calm,” she says. A few other suggestions: Ask what podcasts people have discovered, discuss the latest book you’ve read, or share the Netflix series that currently has you in its thrall.
Reminisce
When tension starts to build Andruzzi suggests redirecting. “Find a neutral topic that everyone can contribute to, like talking about your first car or what songs were your favorites in high school,” she says. “Pull up pictures and share stories. Ask Alexa to play the songs and dance together!” Reminiscing on fond memories can remind us why our bonds with family and friends are so important to maintain and nurture.
Walk Away
If, despite the above strategies, tension and voices begin to rise, “Give yourself permission to do what you need to do for your mental health. If that means hiding in the bathroom or busying yourself with the dishes, so be it,” says Andruzzi. “Take the dog for a quiet walk or announce that you are going to head outside and enjoy some fresh air. We all know that turkey makes us sleepy — a built in excuse for a nap.” Taking a moment apart can give everyone the chance to regroup and reset. It offers a natural opportunity to transition to another topic or activity.
Keep it in Perspective
While it may be tempting to engage in debates over the current state of politics, Andruzzi says, “The cold truth is that debating politics in these settings is unlikely to shift anyone’s position. All you will achieve is damaging these important relationships. Champion your causes in your own way when you get back to regular life. These holiday gatherings are an opportunity to show each other grace and appreciate our many blessings.”
Feature image, stock.adobe.com
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